Lately, every time I scroll through the “TikToks” or listen to the young folks talk at the cookout, I hear that word: Narcissist. It’s like everyone’s ex, everyone’s boss, and half their cousins have been diagnosed by the University of Social Media. And the solution is always the same: “Go No Contact.”

Now, look. If someone is truly out here being abusive or malicious, Auntie is the first one to tell you to grab your purse and bolt the door. But let’s be for real for a second. We’ve started using big clinical words for what used to be called plain old emotional immaturity.

The Difference Between “Me First” and “Me Only”

Listen to me, baby: there’s a big difference between a wolf and a puppy that hasn’t been house-trained.

• The “Narcissist”: They have a calculated need for power, a total lack of empathy, and they want to see you small so they can feel big.

• The Emotionally Immature: They love you, but they don’t know how to handle their own big feelings. When things get tough, they pout, they get defensive, or they go silent because they have the emotional toolkit of a toddler in a grown-up’s suit.

Why “No Contact” Isn’t Always the Move

Everyone is so quick to cut people off these days. But baby, if we cut off every person who was selfish, moody, or didn’t know how to apologize properly, we’d all be sitting in empty rooms.

Sometimes, when you go “No Contact” on someone who is just immature, you’re missing a chance to set a boundary. > Auntie’s Wisdom: A boundary isn’t a wall to keep people out; it’s a gate to show them how they need to act if they want to come in.

How to Handle the “Emotional Toddlers” in Your Life

If you’re dealing with someone who isn’t “evil,” just… underdeveloped, try this:

1. Stop Expecting Water from a Dry Well: If your cousin has never been able to handle a deep conversation, stop trying to have one at 11:00 PM when you’re emotional. You’re just setting yourself up for a headache.

2. Lower the Volume: When they start acting out or getting defensive, don’t match their energy. You don’t scream back at a two-year-old, do you? You stay calm and say, “We can talk about this when you’re ready to use a respectful tone.”

3. Check Your Own Heart: Are you waiting for them to change so you can be happy? Oh, honey, that’s a losing game. You be happy regardless of whether they ever grow up.

The Bottom Line

Not everyone is a villain, sugar. Some people are just stuck in the “Me, Me, Me” phase of life, even if they’re fifty years old. You don’t always have to exile them to the wilderness; sometimes you just have to stop letting them sit in the driver’s seat of your peace of mind.

Now, go on and get you some of that pound cake I left in the kitchen. And leave the drama on the porch!